Forget the tarps and giant soccer balls. Mounted police in Wichita, Kan., have a new aid for desensitization training.

Wichita police arrested three people last weekend after some people participating in a bachelorette party celebration threw a 5-foot-long inflatable penis at a police horse.

There are a lot of things I could say here, but in the interest of remaining employed, we'll stick to the facts of the incident as reported on

Sunday night, officers patrolling in the Old Town neighborhood encountered a large group of young women celebrating a bachelorette party. The brother of one of the ladies was toting the, erm ... novelty item ... when he allegedly launched it at a mounted officer. Police spokesman Gordon Bassham said the dirigible struck the horse, causing it to spook.

Police arrested the man on suspicion of battery of a law enforcement officer (the horse). Two women were also brought in, one of whom supposedly grabbed an officer's arm, while the other struck a horse (according to report, it had stepped on her foot--hope they weren't peep toes).

As usual, the reader comments on this story are fantastic--including one from an eyewitness (excerpted):

"3) The inflatable member was AT LEAST 6 feet long. Maybe more. Refer to my Facebook pictures from the event.

"4) The inflatable member was stolen by someone totally unrelated to our celebration, thrown at a female officer who obviously suffered some embarrassment, who then made a quick (read:rash) decision to charge the likely culprits - us - on her high horse (no pun intended.) The intimidation of being pinned between the broad side of a Clydesdale and a brick wall prompted several of the celebrators to shield their faces and bodies, at which point the "assault" arrests were made.

"5) I have proof. I brought the (now flaccid) member home with me ;)"

I have to wonder what they're talking about in the holding cell.

While we know that horses don't have heart attacks (yes, really), I'm pretty sure my horse would die if pummeled by a 5 (perhaps 6)-foot-long inflatable anything.

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